How to Use Personal Anecdotes in Storytelling
Personal anecdotes are one of the most popular story types because they’re so flexible. You see them in books, in sermons, in keynote speeches, even characters in movies will share personal anecdotes which helps fill in their backstories. They. Are. Everywhere.
(Insert Psycho theme here.)
But personal anecdotes are particular great for pulling an audience in—they build engagement and rapport right away.
Not to say all anecdotes are equally entertaining. The problem is that when you’re telling your own story, you’re too close to it to be objective. You often need to let others provide the objectivity to see if the story works—or not.
When deciding which of your own personal stories to share, the key is to pay attention to three factors:
#1—What life stories do you share on a regular basis?
If you’ve got a go-to story, good chance it aligns with your personal values, your brand, or both. So put it on the page!
#2—How do people respond to those stories?
If your go-to stories generally receive a positive response, those are likely great personal anecdotes to rely on. Yet there is one more factor we can’t ignore:
#3—Does the story teach something of value?
Granted, sometimes a story can exist just for the sake of the story—for sheer entertainment and enjoyment. Not every story in life needs a “point.” But when you’re writing a nonfiction book (or delivering a keynote speech), every word is valuable real estate.
In business nonfiction, the Educate piece may need to be the deciding factor when you’re assessing which personal anecdote to use. My wife and I once walked out of a church service when the guest speaker did nothing but tell self-serving personal anecdotes, one after another, with no connection to a real lesson of value.
Sometimes clients tell me great stories in our calls, and I’ll say, “That’s a great story!” Then I sometimes follow it up with a big But: “But I’m not sure it’s right for this book or the lesson you’re trying to convey.”
Once you look for personal anecdotes in your own life, you’ll see them all around you. But to get you a jumpstart, here are some natural places to look:
Childhood stories (especially if it ended with you getting in trouble)
Moving stories (that is, moving from one place to another)
School stories (the more embarrassing, the better)
Marriage (so long as your spouse is cool with it)
Hobbies and clubs
Holiday events
Sibling stories
Work stories
Volunteering
Pet stories
Parenting
All of these are areas you can mine for anecdotes. You may also notice these are some of the most stressful parts of life. But they are relatable, which is what makes for a great personal anecdote.
On that note, how do you know if the story is relatable? Is it possible to use a personal anecdote that isolates your reader?
Yes, yes it is.
It’s totally possible to pick an anecdote that demeans or isolates your reader. So to make sure you’re choosing anecdotes that build rapport rather than repel your reader, here’s some questions to ask yourself:
Will this story resound with my audience?
For instance, if you know you’re writing or speaking to a group of college kids, does a marriage or parenting anecdote make sense? Context matters.
Will this story endear me to my audience?
Consider whether the anecdote shows you as an average, relatable, empathetic human. Thoughtfully examine if it could instead estrange you from your reader—or worse, come across as boastful, demeaning, or condescending.
Will this story allow me to teach a valuable insight or express a common pain point?
As discussed above, anecdotes should have a point to them. It’s okay if it’s not super-obvious. But if you're going to lead a horse to water, then make sure it’s good water. Horses work hard. They deserve it.
When you can tie the anecdote to the overarching theme of your book, even better. This can take some real thought because you never want the theme or lesson to feel like it was forced in. Readers can pick up on that BS from a mile away. If you want to keep readers engaged, then you have to be hyper-focused on their experience … not just your own.
If you’re still struggling with what makes for a good personal anecdote story, consider booking a 60-minute coaching call with me and let’s figure it out.
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